They Changed the Rules
by Rose88
Summary: River's not sure how she's getting from one situation to the next. Oneshot, possible Rayne.


Disclaimer: Obviously not mine. Joss is boss.

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**They Changed the Rules**

I am River Tam.

No, best stick to what she is sure of. She is a girl who went to the bank one day and found that they had changed the rules.

They gave her a smooth metal box with velvet-lined compartments. It is a rich object, suitable for a place of money, and the compartments hold many items that she will need to access her account. She knows they gave it to her because there she stands, examining it, alone, and no one makes a fuss even though the packed and busy room is full of people whose job is to make a fuss when necessary. She first pulls out an almost-traditional key, then a small plastic card, then a tiny metal rectangle, and knows that the more she looks the more incomprehensible the items will become. She becomes afraid of confusion, of looking like an idiot, of _getting it wrong_. Banks are not the place for mistakes.

She intends to work it out, to not ask for help and to _do it right_. But then she is somewhere else, a busy hallway, and people are panicking. She knows that this is some other part of the bank. Alarms are going off. She is frightened, knows that this is about her, that any minute someone will notice her and ask why the items are hiding in her pocket.

But then she is in a small room, on some sort of informal throne on a low dais. There are three men here; one who is old, one who is middle-aged, and one who is entirely insignificant. He is merely there for the sake of the right number. The old one is in charge; she feels the power in his silence as the middle one speaks for him: This gentleman wants to make you his protégé. He is very impressed with what you did.

She wants to ask them what she did, but then she is lying facedown and there is a short haired, cheerful girl- a masseuse? a hair stylist?- who remarks what a funny coincidence it is that both she and Lord H were already having their disguises done here before he had even heard of her and offered to adopt her. She begins to rise from her belly and realizes: Yes, disguises. Her hair is already different. But when she turns to question the disguiser, the disguiser is making pancakes. See, they're blueberry, the disguiser says. I'm making the little ones for your snacks and these big strawberry ones for the main meal. The disguiser is pleased to do something nice for her, and she doesn't know why.

But then the girl is gone, and Jayne is here instead. It is the same room. Something tells her that considerable time has passed. The confusion is approaching intolerable levels, but now that Jayne is here things will be better.

Jayne is her lover. He will take care of her.

No. Jayne wishes to be her lover. It hasn't happened yet.

No. She wishes for Jayne to be her lover. He is only afraid. The fear fills him like a warm, unhappy glow. She must do something to help. She must return to the bank to fix what she has done.

But then she is at the mall, alone, Jayne's fear still pounding through her veins. She keeps moving. Can't get caught, can't be recognized. She has failed, and it is impossible now to do good by returning. She moves through indoors and outdoors, takes a coat as she passes through. No one notices. Will something stolen help her stay hidden? She has the hood of the coat pulled over her head, wanting to shield her face. But she cannot stop, like a shark that must swim in order to breathe, and once she passes through more doors and is inside again the hood only serves to make her more conspicuous. As she pushes the hood back the seemingly ordinary synthetic coat is suddenly the wrong shape; how can it be too tight across her tiny shoulders, too tight to close over her flat belly, yet fall to just the right place on her hips? She catches sight of herself in a large mirror. A red t-shirt she didn't realize she was wearing flares out into brightness where the plain, tan coat does not cover it. She must get out. They will see her.

Then she is in darkness, down below that part of the mall that is meant for customers. There is concrete spreading far and wide, pipes off to one side looking unfinished. Light streams in from somewhere on her left where a wall has yet to be built, and a tiny answering light glows in the hand of a man holding a blueprint. He is explaining the encroachment of water in detail to another man and a woman, who stand beside him looking confused. And then she is not sure if perhaps they are all under water. There are boundaries, different substances, but she cannot discern which is water, which air, which concrete. The man with the light is becoming frustrated, still trying to explain simple concepts to these people whose only good quality is their money.

But then she is gone.

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River wakes with a start, and instantly swings her legs over the side of the bed to be grounded. The cool metal of Serenity is solid reassurance. Her right arm flops like a dead thing. It must have been trapped somehow while she slept.

River waits patiently for her body to return to normal. Then she pulls out a notebook and begins to write.

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A/N: This is actually almost entirely a dream I had in which I was River Tam. Coolest dream _ever_. I meant to mess with it more before posting, but got impatient :P 


End file.
